
My story has been a happy one. I feel like God has been good to me and has appointed my own personal guardian angel. From day one, when I was diagnosed, 12 years ago, I felt like He was taking care of me. I must say that sometimes I struggled with this, because why, then, give it to me in the first place. After all these years I’ve learned to believe that either a) He didn’t give it to me, I just got it, or b) He did give it to me because He had a reason, and I wanted to figure it out.
That night of October 20th, 1997, I was sitting in my car in front of the wheel, ready to drive off, when I remembered something and decided to go back to my office, I turned the car off, and went in again. Turned the computer on and sat in my desk for a few minutes. Next thing I know, I’m laying down, on the floor, just waking up. But when my wife asked me later that night, I didn’t remember getting ready to fall sleep, so something must be very wrong with me, she said.
That started my journey; a brain tumor was diagnosed in the right side; two neurosurgeons recommended a biopsy to find out exactly what they were dealing with. At first it was difficult, I thought I was going to die, and I had my moments of fear, like everyone else. I have always been a very religious person but never had prayed so much. But I was confused, wasn’t even sure what to pray for. I wanted to live longer, a lot longer, I wanted to be at my children’s graduation, their weddings, the birth of my grandchildren, I wanted to get healed.
But I wasn’t sure I could do that or that it was the right thing. I thought it may not be humble to pray for health, maybe God was calling me and wanted me to set an example, so I started to pray for strength to go through the illness, to be able to fight and don’t feel sorry for myself, to be able to appear like a normal person even though I was sick. I did visualize all those events in my life and I wanted to be there for my three children, and that helped me a lot, I found more strength that I thought possible I could have in me.
Also, a friend helped me realized that there were people in my life for whom I could set an example. And oddly enough, instead of getting mad at him, I found what he said reasonable, and I liked it, and I embraced it, and then I prayed even more, because that made sense; that’s exactly what option b was. But at the same time, I began developing this strange confidence that I would be healed, that I had faith God could and made me and wanted me to heal, and if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains, right?
Then good thing started to happen, first I went through the treatment–both chemotherapy and radiation–without almost having any bad feelings, like most people, I didn’t even lose my hair, only a little bit where the beam got into my head. Upon finishing the treatment, I started having MRIs every 3 months, and they all looked good; then every 4 months, then 6, and the last time the doctors suggested to go only once a year, something I’m not going to do, I’m too scared to let that much time to pass between MRIs.
The tumor has not forced me make big changes in my life; I work, I do sports, I volunteer in many activities, I go out, I play games, I have hobbies, in short, I’m living a normal life. And I have been neurologically perfect throughout the process, something very important because it makes surgery unnecessary for now, given that the treatment worked and that I have no symptoms whatsoever.
On top of that, the tumor is located in an area of my brain where my strong qualities, like numerical and analytical, aren’t based; instead, it may have affected those that I never had anyway, like creativity and artistic.
After 12 years, I have seen all three of my children graduate from high school and two of them graduate from college, and the youngest is graduating this semester, so with the help of God, I’ll be there in May to hug her and kiss her. By the way, I’m wrting this story the day after she turned 22. And we are all happy. I’m not going to say the tumor has been a blessing but it has made me a better person, someone who appreciates the little things I took for granted: flowers, birds, sunsets, a simple walk; and other not-so-little things we do daily or have but do not appreciate enough: the ability to see and hear, two arms and two legs, the ability to walk, run, and play; a hot shower, three meals a day, a soft bed, air conditioning and heating. And finally, the love of friends and family.